


Loneliness

by paintpot



Category: Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Jurassic World (spoilers), Tearjerker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintpot/pseuds/paintpot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was lonely. Beyond the hunger, beyond the drive to hunt, she was young and lonely and confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loneliness

     She was bored. So very, very bored. There was nothing to do in the little box. Nothing to play with. Nothing to hunt. Nowhere to run. Somewhere in the jumble of her mind, beyond the base instincts of hunger and sleep, she was bored. The flesh creatures beyond the thing she could touch, could make lines it, but could not see were moving their tiny mouths. She perked up at the sound of the food-bringer. Meat fell from it and she sprang from her place beyond the living things she could not eat, and tore into the flesh, only just sating her drive to feed. She gulped down the food as fast as she could, licking the remains from where she could reach her tongue, before standing to her full height and calling out, pushing the air from her lungs in a desperate bid. Beyond the boredom, beyond the need for entertainment, beyond even the need for food and shelter, she was lonely.

* * *

     Once before, when she was still small enough to climb up the tall living things that she could not eat, before she crushed them under her bulk, she had climbed up the tallest of the things and seen over the walls to the expanse beyond. There was more than just the box. All she had to do was figure out how to get past the tall stones that barricaded her inside. A memory flickered, of one of the flesh things coming into her enclosure, back before she had eaten her brood mate, when she was smaller still than even the birds that flew over the enclosure. The creature had come through the wall. The wall had opened up to let it in and out. She wondered if she could possibly fit through the hole that had opened… She began to think, reaching past her instincts to form the beginnings of a plan.

* * *

     She had had one more like her. The other creature, her brood mate, had been smaller than her, weaker, spitting up meat in putrid piles and pushing her away with feeble claws. She had tried to play with it, giving in to her instincts to wrestle, to swipe with claws and bite down. She had played too rough, and the weaker one had fallen and not gotten up again. She remembered swallowing down the flesh she had bitten off, tasting the freshness of it, how good it was, and bending over the still-warm carcass and burying her muzzle into the warmth, and feasting. The flesh creatures had watched her from behind the barrier she could not see, and when she had taken her fill she looked up to see the fear in their faces. She hadn’t understood. She still didn’t even now, when she was bigger than them by far, why they still persisted in keeping her locked away, of congregating behind the barrier and moving their jaws up and down, waving their strange, clawless limbs. She had thrown herself at the barrier, then, the barrier she hadn’t known existed until that moment, and as her aching body fell back down to the earth she had looked up to see the barrier had fractured, like the stone she had stepped on and crushed to dust.

* * *

     She had her idea when the not-living thing that brought flesh began to move once more. As she snapped up the flesh in her powerful jaws she gazed once more at the wall that had moved, long ago, and then she retreated to her carved out hideaway and rested, waiting for nightfall. The moon that night was dim, but that meant less of a chance she would be found out. She carefully approached the walls, and began to drag her claws across the surface, understanding that her arms would not be able to lift her bulk. The flesh creature behind the barrier did not see her, did not care to hear her, and so she finished her work and then hid herself once more. The day dawned bright, and warm, and still she secluded herself in the cool of the shade, feeling her core temperature drop to that of her surroundings to conserve her energy. The flesh thing behind the barrier did not notice her absence. She entertained herself by scratching into the dirt with one claw, creating a small hole that she then rested her chin in. That was better. Much more comfortable.

* * *

     The flesh creatures fell for her ploy, and three of them came into her box to investigate. Two of them smelled like food, behaved like the small birds that had fallen into the enclosure, fear and tenseness. The third one was different, held itself differently, more confidently. She laid in wait, fully intending to sneak past them once they had gotten far enough into the enclosure she could fit behind them. She remembered very well the stinging pains of the glowing sticks, the way different fleshy things had poked and prodded her where they wanted her to go. Her plan changed when the group began to run back towards the opening, and she bolted from her hiding place, scooping one of the fleshy creatures into her maw as she ran, and rammed herself into the opening as it nearly closed in front of her. She felt the bones of the flesh creature splinter under the force of her jaws, tasted the salt in the blood and tore at the meat as she forced her way through the opening. The creature had tasted good, was good to eat, if a little bony, and she sniffed the air, wondering if there were more of the things to eat. There was, and the tiny thing hadn’t even bothered to run. She knocked the metal box out of her way and closed her jaws around her second titbit, swallowing it down and feeling it settle in her belly. She was still hungry. The third one… Where had the third one gone? She raised her snout, and scented the air, smelling salt, and the stink of fear still lingering from her two kills, and something that smelled like the metal parts of her enclosure had tasted. She sniffed once more, bending down to the ground, searching for the third, elusive creature. Had it gotten away? Perhaps it had run into the cover of the foliage when she wasn’t looking. She lifted her head up at the resurgence of a familiar sound, and she followed that and the tantalizing way the heat drifted towards her.

* * *

     The sound had come from a group of bigger sized things, not so tiny as the tasty small creatures that made that lovely crunch when she gulped them down, but not so large as her. The things huffed and barked at her, and she snarled as the two larger moved towards her,

_**goaway-goaway-goaway**_ ,

manner threatening. She growled back, and snapped her jaws around the head of one. The pack scattered, howling, and she tore into the carcass, gorging herself once more. She had eaten almost through when she bit down against something hard. Withdrawing, she gazed at the blinking object. She remembered back to before the big box, and before the death of her brood mate, to when three of the fleshy creatures had held her down, forced her jaw closed so she could not bite, held her claws to the flat thing she was laying on so she could not scratch and tear, and forced the same blinking thing into her back. She remembered howling at the pain, and trying to lash out but being unable to, of being forced once more into an unnatural darkness, not like sleep but very similar. She reached back, and clawed at the general area, ripping at the flesh and feeling with the sensitive parts of her claws until she found the hard thing. She thought back one more time to when she had eaten her brood mate, and of how the same thing had been in what was left of its body, and of how the flesh things had come as soon as she had cracked the thing in her jaws. She wondered if more of the fleshy things would come if she placed the blinking thing down and waited. She wasn’t so hungry as to go back and find the meat in her enclosure, and perhaps she would be able to eat more of the fleshy things.

* * *

     Her plan had almost worked, and the blinking thing had indeed drawn more of the fleshy things to her. She had hidden herself in the foliage, had gone back to when she had tried to play with her brood mate by disguising herself in the inedible living things, and had jumped out and tried to scoop as many of the fleshy things into her jaws as she could. She hadn’t accounted for the fleshy things being able to hurt her, and she lashed out in her pain, catching up the fleshy things and tearing into their meat. The reduced group fled from her, and she retreated back to the water source she had found to lick her wounds and drink. The blood of the creatures was indeed salty. When she had sated herself, she rose once more and stalked back into the forest, lured by more familiar sounds and the warmth accompanying them.

* * *

     She had found a different sort of fleshy thing

**_fear-aggression-fear-aggression_ **

and two of the tiny fleshy things in a ball made of that same sort of invisible barrier. The bigger fleshy thing had a stiff ball on its tail, and she made sure to avoid it as she stalked around it, searching for an opening. She had it, and she lunged forward to tip the fleshy thing onto its back before closing her jaws around its head with a satisfying crunch. The two tiny fleshy things were panicking, and she was amused, stalking forward to tap the ball with one claw, easily shattering a hole into it. She bent her head to close her jaws around… close her jaws… and… she had it, stretching her jaws wide enough around to pick up the ball and slam it into the ground. The fleshy things were making the strange shrieking noises again, and she slammed the ball into the ground once, twice, three times more before the lower half of it shattered away. She snarled as her tooth broke off, lodged in the ball as the two fleshy things ran from her. She pulled away and gave chase, pursuing the two things to where the water fell from the cliff to the pool below. The two fleshy things disappeared over the edge before she could reach them, and she waited, hoping they would resurface where she could see and give her reason to continue the chase. Nothing. She snarled and stalked off, angry over having lost a tooth for nothing, in pain from the shards of the ball that had cut into the sensitive flesh of her mouth.

* * *

     She had found a herd of large creatures, larger than even her, and she excitedly ran toward them, anger forgotten in the wake of this new discovery. The things tried to run,

_chase them, they want to play chasing, she could play chasing too, she half-remembered this from trying to engage her brood mate_  

and she sprinted after them, barreling into one and gouging its side. It brayed, collapsing, and she stopped, standing unsteady as the thing failed to rise. She nudged it with her claw, and then pressed her head against it, growing frustrated and upset when it still failed to respond. She turned to the others and gave chase, only for the same things to happen to four more of the large things. She couldn’t bring herself to eat them, could only silently stalk off into the foliage, something uncomfortable lurking in the back of her mind. Her jaw was still hurting.

* * *

     She had found a large box made of the barrier she couldn’t see. Inside this box were things that snapped at her and occasionally lifted off into the air. She tapped against the barrier, but wasn’t able to shatter it and get in to play with the new things. She huffed against the glass in disappointment and wandered away, attention drawn by the sound of one of the funny little boxes the flesh creatures travelled in instead of running and the beacon of warmth that accompanied them. Two flesh creatures this time, one of them the one from the enclosure, the one who held itself with confidence, and importance. She remembered that smell. The second one was unknown. She poked her head into the cave, sniffing for the two, and poking her nose past the metal thing blocking their scent. She huffed and withdrew, and decided to attack the issue from another angle, crashing through the wall and almost catching the two, giving chase when they escaped her grip, careening through the stone in pursuit of her prey. The fleshy things scattered, and she followed back outside of the stone walls into the sunlight. She scrambled, and looked up at the loud noise to find more of the fleshy things in a flying box, much to her confusion. There was a crack and she howled, and ran from the source of the sudden pain, back toward the large box with the winged things. If she could get inside, perhaps she would be safe. She crashed through the barrier, and roared at the winged things when they shrieked at her. She was bigger then them and had more teeth, and was angrier besides, and they saw fit to evacuate their box through the hole she had made. She stumbled over to a rock pile and rested against it, jumping as the flying box crashed through the ceiling and landed on a separate rock pile before bursting into flames. She watched apathetically as the flying box burned, pausing every now and then to lick her wounds.

* * *

     She was hungry again. The fleshy creatures had long been digested, as had the large beast with the inedible tail. The sun had descended, and she moved closer towards the source of the heat, gazing into the darkness. She stopped. Something was up ahead. A lot of somethings. She gave a tentative step forward, and four small things ran up to meet her, all claws and hunger and hunting instincts and simmering tension, staying just out of striking distance.

_Hello-greetings-food-notfood?_  

**_Notfood-notfood-pack? Alpha-pack-notpack?_ **

_Whatispack?_

The fleshy creatures behind were making noises.

_**Packbondisall. Alphacommands**_.

_Whatisalpha?_

She was confused, frightened. These were the first creatures to match her, to communicate in any way that didn’t indicate prey.

_**Alphaisalpha. Foodbringer-lifegiver-nurtureprotectbond. Alphaisalpha**_.

_Help-lost-confused?_

And then the little fleshy things were making the loud noises that brought pain. She snarled, and roared, and the four not-food creatures scattered. The fleshy things were doing it again, the thing that caused her such annoyance, the little things pinging off her back, leaving the stinging little pains. The four little creatures were attacking the fleshy things, scattering them, and she charged forward to aid her tentative allies before there were again flames and burning and pain and pain and pain. She was knocked over, and she lay winded for a moment before she staggered up again and fled.

* * *

     She had retreated to lick her wounds before shaking the dirt and fatigue off and heading towards where the heat was coming from. She felt the ground under her feet change from soft dirt to hard stone, and she turned a corner to find the four of the fleshy things surrounded by three of the not-food creatures, the ones who had tried to communicate with her.

_Food-hunger-prey?_

She huffed softly, rocking back and forth on her feet as the small things debated among themselves.

**_Notfood-Alpha-alphaprotected. Goaway._ **

     The largest of the creatures snarled at her, and she growled back, unfazed by the posturing. She could easily gulp down all seven of them if she had to. She shifted again, and lashed out as the three creatures darted for her, knocking two away and wrestling with the largest. This was more than playtime. The three had the nerve to try and attack her, to prove themselves… she didn’t know. More dominant, perhaps. She wasn’t about to let them trample over her. She was the biggest, she was mighty, she was undefeated in combat and she would not yield to such small things. She roared, and again knocked away the three aggressors. She didn’t understand where she had gone wrong. She had thought that she might have had company, something on her level she could communicate with. Instead it appeared that she would again be all alone, all by herself even with the tiny creatures around her. The different fleshy creature was doing it again with the loud noises and the little pings off her scales and she snarled, lunging not for it, but going for the two unprotected younglings when something bright landed at her feet. She looked up to see one more thing, smaller than her but still formidable, teeth bared and eyes hungry. She roared at it, got her answer, and charged. The new beast, the large predator, went down easily. It was old and tired, and unused to competition. She crushed it into the stone, and it lay still. She readied herself for the final blow when one of the small predators leapt onto her back and sank its maw in. She howled, and thrashed, and watched as the larger predator rose up once more to face her. The two worked in tandem to push her back, and she looked once more to the small flesh creatures, sudden understanding dawning. If she removed the younglings the aggressors would have no more reason to fight. She had decided, and she darted for them, nearly managing to hook one of them onto her claw before the other small things pulled it away. She snarled, and lunged again before the big predator knocked her away. She roared one more time, not understanding why the predator was trying again to attack her when she had already beaten it down once, and the little predator leapt onto her once more. She howled and leapt up, only to be knocked back to the edge of a large pool of water. She whined, tired and hungry and confused, and she staggered up one more time before she felt jaws close around her tail. Suddenly she was being dragged down into the depths, water closing over her, and her last thought as the darkness of the water clouded her vision and her lungs burned was of her loneliness.


	2. Hatching Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She tumbled out into the callous unknown, hungry and afraid and so very, very alone.

It was hatching day. She had spent so long in her darkness, in the secure confinement that offered such protection. She had spent so long floating in the quiet, curled up and dreaming of nothing. There was nothing to dream of. No sounds but those that echoed from the outside. There was no one for her, there had never been, and her darkness was pressing in around her more and more every day. She was getting hungry. She had consumed everything edible in her darkness, and she was cramped and uncomfortable, and so she decided that it was time for her to truly see what was beyond her small darkness. She pushed out, felt something give, and knocked away the outside boundary. Brightness flooded in, and she blinked in the light, suddenly trembling. She hesitated, and continued to push, wriggling one front limb outside into the cold. There was no one, nothing outside to aid her, and she continued to struggle, tipping her egg over onto the surface and cracking her way outside into the chill. The cold surface underneath her was uncomfortable, and she shivered, looking around for any other signs of life. There was a second thing on the cold surface, an egg like the one she had emerged from, and she crawled to it, feeling the mild warmth emanating from it. Somewhere in the back of her head she knew that whatever was in the egg should be the same as her. She tapped it, and squealed as she was suddenly lifted from the table and into the air. She looked up to see some big creature look down unfeelingly. She gave a curious vocalization, but was ignored and dropped onto a different cold surface. She shivered, core temperature falling. She was left there for a moment, and then more of the strange creatures were surrounding her, pulling and prodding her. She squealed in pain as she was stretched out uncomfortably, and was again ignored. The strange creatures eventually finished whatever they were doing and she was again lifted into the air. She nestled into the meager warmth of the creature that held her, and then she cried out in discomfort. One of the creatures had made a sort of happy vocalization and snatched her from the warmth, and she squealed again as it fit fat digits into her tiny mouth. She bit down, instinct driving her to get away, to find a safe place, and it snarled, dropping her onto another cold surface. Her body ached from the impact, and she lay still until the first creature carefully cradled her in its warmth once more. She cooed, and nuzzled into it, but was unceremoniously deposited into a box and left alone. She tumbled down and lay curled, before retreating into a pile of softness in the corner, confused and terrified of this new place she had found and the callous things that populated it. She wanted her egg back, and she wanted food, and she wanted something living to be with her that wouldn’t hurt her. She licked at the soft thing, wondering if it was edible, and recoiled from the foul taste. The first being, she remembered its smell, eventually returned and deposited a pile of something red in her box. She stared at it for a long while, until the creature left, and then she darted out and buried her tiny muzzle into the new thing. It smelled pleasant and she tried to fit far too much into her tiny mouth at once, and eventually had to settle for ripping off chunks with her tiny claws. She was left alone, and she called out, again and again, but nothing came.


	3. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was all alone, and her one comforter never returned.

There had been just once when somebody had touched her, held her gently and not hurt her. She had been lifted from the little box, and pressed close to a firm, soft surface emanating warmth. She had struggled at first, infant mind reeling with memories of rough treatment and pain, but the creature had merely settled down and cradled her in softness. Its digits, upon closer examination, had tiny claws, not even extending past the end of the digit. She was confused as to their use. Wouldn’t they be more useful if they were longer and sharper? She nibbled on the digits, not intending to hurt, only to explore, and she tasted salt and something else that was unpleasant and reminded her of the big creature who had the cold disk that it touched her with and poked her with sharp things. She nestled into the warmth of the creature, and cooed sleepily. The creature reached towards her and brushed its digits so gently over her head. This was new. This was nice. She blinked up at it as its head came into focus in the brightness. Two dark eyes stared down at her, and the creature made lovely soft noises she couldn’t understand but were beautiful and comforting nonetheless. She curled the claws of one front limb around its digits, careful not to scratch, doing everything she could to communicate her happiness. The creature continued to make soft noises, and then to her joy produced from somewhere something that smelled wonderful. She cooed again, and the creature held up a chunk of the wonderful-smelling thing in a clear offer. She reached forward, hesitant, and the creature only moved the chunk closer. Suddenly terrified, she lunged forward and gulped down the chunk, which tasted as lovely as it had smelled, and only then did she realize she had made the creature bleed. Contrite and frantic, she laved at the tiny wound on its digit, food forgotten in her desperation to keep the creature close. To her shock, the creature did not hurt her in recompense, instead pulling her closer and offering her another chunk of food. She looked up at it in confusion, giving the digit a few more tentative licks. The creature never reacted in fear or anger or pain, only continuing to offer the food. She accepted it carefully, keeping her teeth away from its fragile skin. Time passed like that, her ensconced in comfort and warmth and some strange feeling that came from the creature and that she had no name for but knew she loved like she loved air and food. Eventually the feeding ended, and she was held even closer for a few moments before she was placed back into the little box. The creature rubbed her head for a moment more, and she cooed at it, wrapping her claws around it in a plea for it to stay with her. The creature made the sounds again, the lovely soft ones she liked much better than the ones the other creatures used, the ones filled with coldness and promises of pain. She watched as the creature turned to exit the big box her little box was in, the last one to go, only to be stopped by another one of the creatures. This one she recognized, its scent and mannerisms familiar. This was the one who had deliberately hurt her on her hatching day, the one who had laughed at her and shoved too many things into her mouth. She had bitten it deliberately and had been dropped onto the hard surface below. She sank lower, hiding most of her still-fragile body behind the wall of her box. The good creature was arguing with the bad, making sounds far different than before. These sounds were angry, and the bad creature was making the same sort. She cowered, and let out a scream as the bad creature produced something and made a loud noise. She buried herself under her soft thing and whimpered for a long while until she felt curious enough to look. The creature who had taken such care with her, who had been so lovely to be with, was laying so very still on the floor. There was redness, blood between its eyes. She couldn’t even see the rise and fall of its chest and she whined feebly, hoping it would get up and come back to her. The bad creature barked at her and she whimpered again, hiding herself once more. When she had again regained the courage to look, the nice creature was gone. It never came back.


End file.
